Oh I wish I were an Oscar Mayer Wiener.

That is what I'd truly like to be.
'Cause if I were an Oscar Mayer Wiener,
Ev'ryone would be in love with me.

It looks as those my efforts to eat healthy, fresh foods is going to be tanked for
the next few months. Instead I'll be buying boxes of Kraft Mac 'n' Cheese, Oscar
Mayer wieners, countless boxes of Post cereal and downing Maxwell House coffee.

For my transgressions, I blame Donald E. Wilmon, Chairman of the American
Family Association, and Jerry Falwell (we all know this gluttonous ballooning man).
It seems they aren't pleased with Kraft Foods' support of the Gay Games. (Something
about being anti-family or something.) The AFA is encouraging they're drones
to send emails (from their website) and call Kraft foods asking them to oppose the
Gay Games.

So I decided to launch my own mini boycott. I used the AFA's own tools to send an
email of support to Kraft. I encourage you to do the same. Go to the American
Family Association 's
Take Action Page. They have a standard letter that you can sign your
name to and send. These Right Wing Wackos are so stupid they let me edit the email
to say whatever I wanted. Well, I mischieviously changed the email from their
wording:

I am greatly disappointed to learn of Kraft's sponsorship of the Gay Games.
I ask that Kraft withdraw its sponsorship. If Kraft does not withdraw its
sponsorship of the Gay Games, and if American Family Association calls for
a boycott of Kraft, I will participate.

TO MY wording:

I am very pleased to learn of Kraft's sponsorship of the Gay Games.
I ask that Kraft continue its sponsorship. If Kraft does not withdraw its
sponsorship of the Gay Games, and if American Family Association calls for
a boycott of Kraft, I WILL BUY MORE KRAFT PRODUCTS.

I hit send. Hehehehehe....I turned the AFA's gun around and pointed it back
at them. You should give it a try to. Write whatever you want.

My bologna has a first name, it's O-S-C-A-R.
My bologna has a second name, it's M-A-Y-E-R.
Oh, I love to eat it everyday, and if you ask me why, I'll say,
"'Cause Oscar Mayer has a way with B-O-L-O-G-N-A."